If the last number of weeks and especially last week could be represented in a picture, surely it would be this.
Having said that, the understatement of understatements if there ever was one would emphatically be “life has its ups and downs” or something similar in nature.
Along with the whole “life has its ups and downs” view of existence, is that the roller coaster we refer to as “life” can leave you mentally and emotionally drained so to speak. Actually, there can be no “so to speak”…you’re actually and simply “drained…empty….zero in the tank…nada.”
That’s how it feels to a great extent this Sunday morning.
Why so low, so drained?
I came out of a very stunted and emotionally/mentally abusive/challenged upbringing. All of which to a major degree at times has caused significant mental and emotional wellness issues throughout my life.
Anyways, family and a family that are close and loves each other unconditionally and all those wonderful things are exceedingly important to me. As I suspect they are within every family.
As such, with only one child(we had Sara, then lost another one) being able to connect on a regular basis every few weeks via text or an “old-fashioned phone call” or even 21-century video calls, is pretty important within my life and Lynn’s.
Since coming back from visiting Sara and her boyfriend(Andrew) the last week of September, we were and are still unable to reconnect with her through any medium. Having said that, Sara does have a challenge coping with connecting or more often reconnecting with those in her life. And the more you send a text or call to see how life was, the harder it becomes for her to reach out. Each call or text would add an additional layer of guilt to her because she couldn’t or hadn’t been able to respond.
Anyhow, she has seen a therapist in the past, which really helped her to a very great extent.
But, not over the past two months.
So, to say the least, we were becoming very, very concerned as this was the longest period we hadn’t heard from her. It goes without saying that the emotional and mental toll on both Lynn and I was considerable and increased with each passing hour and day.
But, we did have her boyfriend’s(Andrew’s) cell number. After not hearing anything, Lynn made the decision to call Andrew last Saturday. She got the automated response, “this number is no longer in service.”
We were devasted.
Not knowing anyone else in Halifax, Andrew was our last and only real connection to Sara. At that point, both Lynn and I fell as rapidly as one could into a not very good and rather darkish place to be. Whatever negative and bad situations we could imagine, we accomplished all of it.
While trying to sort this mess out(which included taking an emergency leave from work to go to Halifax), I knew her boyfriend had a sister who was a medical student in Halifax. With a bit of sleuthing and luck, I found her Instagram page and figured we would message her to see if she could help.
Fast-forwarding a bit, just as I was about to hit send in the message to his sister, Lynn said, “you should include Andrew’s cell number, just to check if it has changed and that perhaps his sister had his new one.” As I was composing the message on my phone, I said to Lynn, “grab your phone and read me Andrew’s number.” Lynn starts, “area code 209………”
As a stunning realization swept over me like a tidal wave, I quickly blurted out, “that’s wrong the area code. Where they are in Halifax the area code is 902.”
Lynn had the area code backward in her phone.
As we looked at each other in rapidly increasing disbelief. I picked up my phone; hit Andrew’s number and after a couple of rings I get, “hello.”
To make a long short a bit shorter, we had a wonderful chat with Andrew. Yes, Sara is back in a place where she finds it a significant challenge to reconnect. But, Andrew said, it just isn’t with us, it’s with all the people in her sphere that she should be connecting with. So, she is back working with her therapist and we hope and know there will be great results.
It was very comforting to know that Andrew understands our concerns and that he loves her and is supporting Sara to give her the time and space she needs to work through whatever she needs to. He said, she is working a lot(which she loves to do) and the new puppy is an ongoing bundle of fun and concern as new puppies are.
You are likely thinking at this moment, “So wtf is the issue here? Seems like it all worked out more or less.”
You are absolutely correct – it did.
But, it also emotionally and mentally drained both of us. From weeks of ever-increasing lows, and then going from a high after getting off the phone with Andrew, I crashed to a somewhat much lower spot.
This morning, it feels like I’ve moved a bit from that place………but not much.
I just feel drained and I know Lynn feels the same way.
We were out for a bit on Saturday afternoon trying to chip away at the Christmas list, and I mentioned, “I can’t take or deal with any more emotional poop at the moment. I’m sort of needing this weekend to be one to start to fill the tank again.”
That seemed to be a common theme in the car as we headed back home.
Without a doubt – “life has its ups and downs.” And much of it from a backwards area code.
–as always with love–
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