The Times in Algonquin are a Changin’ Baby!

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Last week we did a day trip north to Algonquin Park. As I mentioned in that post, it was one of those must needed trips to help satisfy my soul and nurture my mental wellness. Although, the day wasn’t spent on the water or hiking on one of the many trails – it was a great day out and time well invested. You can read about it here.

I must admit, it is a really good read!! That’s what people have told me – ask them!

What I failed to put into that blog entry was apparently Ontario Parks staff, at least those working in Algonquin don’t want people stealing the trees. The trees are now heavily chained to prevent theft.

Yup, that’s right – tree theft!!

Welcome to 2017 – the 21st century my friends. Humanity as we know it, has hit a new low.

I’ve heard of “don’t feed the animals”; “hang the food bag the right way as to not attract bears”; always wear your pfd”; “water on the water – beer on the pier.” Those are exceptionally timely safety tips if visiting Algonquin Park or anywhere in the great outdoors for that matter.

But, in all my years of going to “The Park”, I’ve never heard of “don’t steal the trees.” 

I assume that this must be one of those un-report crimes. Something that Park’s Staff and likely that “Friends of Algonquin Park” group would want to keep under wraps. Really, who would want to travel and spend any extended time in this crime infested outpost if rampant tree theft was the norm. Crime Stoppers which is a fine organization by the way, would have a field day here my friends.

I can see why, there has never been any reporting of this in main stream media(MSM) or any real media; well, credible media outlets anyways. I did see something about it on-line a while back. However, like many stories it was over-shadowed by cute puppy and silly cat videos.

I actually think it is a bit much to have to chain up a tree to keep it from being stolen.

Like, where are you going to hide it – in your car” Given the size of the chain and the tree trunk it’s around, I guess it would look something like this!

griswold-christmas-tree-car

But, maybe chaining up the trees isn’t such a bad thing. In the most extreme of outcomes – what if all the trees were stolen; gone!

What happens next I can’t even think. It was so hard just to write down these few:

  • no backcountry trips because there would be no place to hang your food
  • campfires at night with a candle………. a candle! No Thanks
  • who would want to hike through a forest with no trees. Wait….. there wouldn’t be a forest
  • there would no fall colours – just fall
  • what would beavers do….. order pre-fab homes? I don’t think so
  • where would raccoons scamper off to after raiding the food from your campsite, due to the fact you had no place to hang it. See, kind of a double whammy here. No trees for them to climb and no tree to hang food. You’ll get it later!
  • the list of tragic results goes on and on

You see, back in the “old days”, trees just grew kind of “wild and free.” There was no thought of theft and crime. Trees were just trees. Something majestic to look at and have pollen fall from in the spring. All the trees needed to do was “be in the house(forest) when the street lights came on.”

Times were simpler in the “old days.”

Thinking about it, maybe the Parks people did it just for the long weekend. You know…. that crazy start to the summer.

I should email the Park Superintendent to get some more details. I’m really curious now.

 

It should be noted that use of sarcasm, satire and other writing forms, many of which I have no clue about; and have less of a clue of what they are called, was liberally applied in the above post with a paint roller. Maybe even a paint sprayer.

In addition, if the truth be told there was a picnic table attached to the other end of the chain, all of which was located in the parking lot at the Logging Museum. However, adding truth and relevant details to the above would add nothing to story. In fact, it would likely detract from it.

It has often been repeated(at least by me), “why tell the truth when a lie or stretching of the facts will do.”

Thanks for reading. That’s five minutes of your life, you’ll never get back.

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4 thoughts on “The Times in Algonquin are a Changin’ Baby!

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